my birthday

For all the friends and family, thank you for the birthday wishes. One more year, 4 complete decades and still so many things to do and looking forward to good health surrounded by family and friends. 

Let me make a few mentions:

Kenya Revenue Authority – the birthday message/present I would have wanted from you is proper use of our taxes. We all know that won’t happen so let me move swiftly along. 

The insurance company that sent me a discounted offer on funeral cover. I am alive to the fact that I am mortal, no need to remind me. It is always good to do business with you, your sense of timing notwithstanding.

My neighbour who keeps us awake with loud hooting at night – I have grown up so much in the last decade. Suffice it to say I no longer have thoughts of wringing your neck, for now. When I turn 50 and I can plead senility in a court of law, now that will be a different game…you get the drift. 

The dry-cleaning company – it is good to see our love has not shrunk over the decades that we have known each other. I am so sorry about the pandemic. Nowadays I only need a shirt and a coat in order to appear on a zoom call and this has meant a lot of the business has gone down the drain.

The barber – sorry man, I am going bald. On the bright side (and I am not referring to the shiny scalp) hopefully this will save me money.  What can I say, it is genetics. I hope you get more clients elsewhere. However, if you have good offers on toupees, you have my number.

Member of the my old cycling club – the brotherhood stands strong. If it has 2 wheels and no motor, we shall ride it. And, if we break bones doing it, may God preserve the bike for future use.

Kenya Airways – what can I say? Every time I see how much of taxpayer money is being used to bail you out, I wonder if the stress will kill me before my next birthday. Hopefully, in my 40’s I will accept that it is what it is. On second thoughts, no, I won’t. 

The watchmaker – from now on I will not be using watches and clocks. I am taking a leaf out of Judge Marete’s playbook. I don’t wear a watch, I don’t ask for time, I decide the time.

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